Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.
Sir Winston Churchill
The way I see it, we all have a decision to make. We can take courage to live the life that we don’t yet know that we know is ours (I’ll explain), or we can choose to live in reactionary mode all throughout our lives.
Many times, I have clients who come to me with the same question: “What’s my purpose?”
Believing they don’t have the answer, they all despondently panic about feeling lost and afraid of never figuring it out. But here’s what I pose to you today – you do have the answer. You may not know that you know, but you know. Deep down inside your core, you know who you are, and what you planned to do while you were here in this lifetime.
The moment you realize and believe (and I mean, truly believe – in your heartspace – not just intellectually understand) that you have that magic spark lying dormant waiting for you to wake it up, is the moment you begin to harness that power that’s only yours.
If you want to start living the life that’s yours, there’s one simple fact you have to accept: you are your own superhero. Dad won’t always be around to step in, there is no knight in shining armor that will complete you, or a financial windfall that will make you a better person overnight.
If you want to be your own superhero and teach others along the way, that requires change. And change begins with the belief that it can happen.
Scientists call it self-efficacy.
What’s the difference between self-efficacy and self-esteem?
Self-esteem says: I feel good about myself.
Self-efficacy says: I can do this.
Self-esteem focuses on being, while self-efficacy focuses on doing.
Studies show that self-efficacy is correlated with lower rates of anxiety and depression, and higher rates of well-being.
So how do you boost your self-efficacy?
- Find role models. Find people you want to emulate, people that inspire you. See what traits they possess and embody those yourself.
- Create a team of cheerleaders. Surround yourself with people that will cheer you on. People that want to see you succeed, and will tell you so.
- Manage your stress appropriately. Figure out what coping skills you enjoy most: working out, playing music, taking a bath, talking to a friend, playing a sport, etc., and practice those skills.
- Create more mastery experiences. Engage in activities that allow you to achieve. It can be simple things, like learning how to cook an enchilada to bigger things like learning how to play an instrument.
- Know your strengths. Take the VIA survey to figure out what your strengths are. Use them.
- Savor your wins. Make sure you take the time to pat yourself on the back. Were you running late but you took the time to make that smoothie anyway? [Great job]. Did you find yourself holding your tongue when your friend said something nasty that you didn’t agree with? [Great job].
With great power (that’s only yours) comes great responsibility (again, it’s only yours).
Being stuck in a mindset that there is something external out there that will make your life better is an illusion. It’s all within you.
It means no more blaming others for why you can’t attract and create financial abundance;
no more pointing fingers at your parents for not teaching you what a loving or dedicated relationship looks like;
no more making excuses for why you can’t be the next American Idol.
If there’s something in your heart, it means it’s yours for the taking. There’s a reason why you have that desire.
The only question is, when will you take up the call to living your best life?
Live with intention. Lead with inspiration.